Sarah Palin Isn't Funny Anymore

Sarah Palin used to be hilarious, God's gift to comedians. Whether it was seeing Russia from her house, or her idiotic tweets, or whatever, Sarah Palin was a guaranteed laugh.

But something has changed recently, especially now that "less PC" tweets "fly from [her] fingers".

Basically, Sarah Palin is dangerous. She’s an idiot and a bitch.

If you're a Palinfan that might seem harsh. You might wonder how I could say something like that.

Well, for starters, her "pallin' around with terrorists" line of attack led to, according to Bush's Secret Service, an increase in death threats against our now-President. At her campaign events, people shouted “kill him!” when she spoke of Obama. In other words, she proved quite adept at inciting a crowd.

She also attacks anyone who disagrees with or challenges her. She threatened a blogger with a libel lawsuit, even though the blogger was, in my opinion, actually defending her in a sort of roundabout way. She fired Walt Monegan, who obstructed her attempts to destroy her brother-in-law's career.

She is a compulsive liar, a woman who seems to derive a sick pleasure from getting crowds high on anger and hate.

Ergo, she's a bitch. Or an asshole, if you think calling her a "bitch" is sexist. But "idiotic"?

Well, during the campaign she admitted, in public, that she didn't know what the vice president does. She thinks that our country neighbors Afghanistan.

That’s enough for me. If you still think she's smart, watch the Katie Couric interview, in full. And remember, just because you can't answer Couric’s question doesn't mean she should get away with not being able to. She was trying to, potentially, run the fucking country. You and I are not.

She used to be funny. But her behavior is just plain frightening.

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I mentioned that Sarah Palin has demonstrated an ability to incite people to violence, or nearly so. And I'm afraid she could do it again.

In her now somewhat infamous "death panel" Facebook post, she has allied herself with the craziest of the crazy. She has poured gasoline on the people who think Obama is out to kill them and she has lit the match.

Which brings us to the health care "protests". Conservatives have legitimate objections to the health care bill. These protesters, however, are fueled by irrational fear; they have been told horrible lies. Obama has been constantly compared to Hitler. Sarah Palin told them that Obama wants to kill babies and old people. In addition, some of them don't think he's legitimately president.

Think about this. What if you believed, really believed, that the President of the United States had usurped his power and was going to set up death panels. Wouldn't any means of stopping him be justified? Wouldn't one be justified in killing him?

Do you think this sounds crazy? Well, a protester brought a gun to the town hall Obama held today. And that wasn't the only incident. A wave of violence is developing. This is what this country is facing.

Remember the teabaggers? The people opposed to them found them annoying at worst. They're finding the health care protesters intimidating. Annoyance, then intimidation.

I think the next logical step is violence.

But what does this have to do with Sarah Palin, who, in fairness, has retracted her earlier statement? Well, she has the most at stake here. She could easily stand to gain the most should anything "happen" to the President. See, the segment of the population which is most frightened is the segment which is most in love with her.

She issued the first statement to position herself as their leader. Her second statement is a sort of "non-denial denial": she retracts her first statement not by admitting that it was a lie, but by saying, "Let's not give the proponents of nationalized health care any reason to criticize us." Those are her exact words.

Thus, she is saying to her loyal followers, "The 'death panel' thing is totally real, but we shouldn't mention it because some people will think we’re crazy, and won't let us stop it."

I've said that Sarah Palin is an idiot, but I think she knows a lot about one subject, the thing which she craves above all else: power, and how to get it. She knows her approval ratings are through the floor, and she knows it's very difficult to correct this (see Dan Quayle’s 1996 presidential campaign).

Despite that obstacle, she has incredibly loyal followers who are afraid that Barack Obama is the second coming of Adolph Hitler. They would fight for her. It may seem easier to gain power by being installed in a popular revolution.

In all probability, this is not true. She probably doesn't know what she is doing. But she is telling people that our President is absolutely evil. She isn't calling for a revolution, but she is enabling one with her thoughtless words. People will stop Barack Death Panel Obama without her ordering it, because they believe the other things she has said.

Either way, Sarah Palin is not a funny woman, but rather an evil woman, an accessory to a treason yet to come.

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Further Reading

I would recommend The Immoral Minority and Palingates if you want some more details. A good summary of Sarah Palin's behavior can be found in this long post, in its first part.

She's Gone! She's Gone!

Sarah Palin is officially the EX governor of Alaska. I might have some more concrete thoughts later, but for now, I'd like to offer a "quote" from the book I mentioned earlier, Hail to the Chiefs. When wrapping up the section on Grover Cleveland, the author quotes the San Francisco Examiner from March 4, 1897. Putting in "Palin" instead of "Cleveland":

"The sky is blue, the birds sing, and the joy is unconfined. It is
the last day of the Palin administration."

The Solution To Sarah Palin's Money Problems

PRINT MONEY!!!

Did you know, Governor (it's still "governor", right?) that money only has value because the government says it does? Only the word of a trusted authority (such as the word of Her Sexiness the Governor of Alaska) gives it value.

And it technically isn't illegal to print your own money, provided you aren't trying to pass it off as genuine national currency. Check out this article on local currency and an example.

I've even included a potential design for a bill:

(click the bills for their larger versions)

Now, a little explanation.

* $58 is the per-diem payment

* 28 is the age when She became council member; 32, mayor of Wasilla; 42, governor; 48, President of the United States.

* 59,934,814 are the number of votes She received in John McCain's name.

* The microprinting around Her portrait is Her message: YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.

* In line with that, the portrait is one of Her hottest, at least as far as official portraits go.

* On the right of the obverse is the logo of the AIP.

What do you think, gov? If you want me to change things...or send you $1.9 million's worth...let me know!

To Steal An Idea From Fareed Zakaria...

I'd like to recommend a book (to who, I don't know! :) ): Hail to the Chiefs: Presidential Mischief, Morals, and Malarkey from George W. to George W. by Barbara Holland. A humorous take on all the presidents from 1 to 43, it's one of my favorites. Holland does not play favorites, and points out the silliness of every president.

The Gospel of Power

I was watching Rachel Maddow yesterday when I heard something so batshit insane my head nearly exploded.

First, a little background. I mentioned earlier that I toyed with writing “The Gospel of Sarah Palin”. I also mentioned that I came up with its central message. That message would have been: “He who believes that Sarah Palin is the divine Daughter of God who came to earth to save us, not only will you go to heaven, but you can commit any ‘sin’ you like knowing that you are Saved.” I was also going to write a “treatment” for a censored, Republican Bible, that would have been posted today.

It turns out I’ve been beaten to the punch, sort of.

While discussing the John Ensign sex scandal, Rachel invited on Jeff Sharlet, the author of a book called The Family, describing the “C Street House” of which Ensign was a member. (Note: the link is to page 3 of the excerpt, which is all politics and friggin terrifying)

Also itself called “The Family,” the group of conservative “christian” [sic] politicians was founded by a man named Abraham Vereide who believed that he had been given a new revelation by God: the point of Christianity is not to help people, but to give more power to the powerful, and to those chosen for leadership, the normal rules do not apply.

In fact, the leader once asked someone, "If I heard you raped 3 little girls, what should I think of you?" Someone said, "You should think I am a monster." He replied, "No, for you are one of the Chosen, so the normal rules do not apply."

This is nuts. In the past, I wondered if certain christian politicians actually thought this way—especially Palin, though she isn’t involved in this group. But even I thought it was insane! They couldn’t really believe that “Christians are Exempt; they’re just fools, or perhaps non-religious people pretending to be evangelicals in order to get votes. A story, which I was sort-of toying with would satirically point out their idiocy and/or lies by pretending that they actually believed Christians are Exempt.

BUT THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT CHRISTIANS ARE EXEMPT FROM ALL THE RULES!!!!!

I risk sounding a little loony myself, I think, but the spirit of Satan is among these people. That’s the nicest way I can put it.

The Coming Messiahette

(c) Runner's World

Ah, Sarah Palin. The hottest and nuttiest politician in the United States, if not the world. And her latest nuttiness is her Friday resignation as governor (effective at the end of the month). Unfortunately for Alaska, she's robbed them of their only chance to live her down (by impeachment, recall, etc.).

Like most people, I don’t know what to make of this. I don’t get it. Shit must be about to hit the fan. There’s so much that could take Sarah down: her quid pro quo house, getting paid to stay at that house, the (remote) possibility that Trig isn’t her child, and that she endangered his life. And so on.

My mom is dead certain that she’s been nailing the LtGov and he's blackmailing her.

But I’m not going to speculate, or at least not here. I have another reason for this post.

I am not the first to notice that Sarah seems to have cult-member-like followers. These people loyally do whatever she asks, defend her every mistake, and think she’s the greatest potential POTUS since Abraham Lincoln, if not Washington. She’s even been compared to the Biblical figures of Deborah and Esther. I don’t really know the story of Deb, but I once read the whole “Book of Esther.” Basically, Esther saved the Jewish people from a Holocaust, circa 500 BCE.

So apparently, Palinites think Obama’s sending them to the gas chambers. Whatever.

Well, I decided to mock all this. What would a religion centered around Sarah Palin actually be like? I sat down and tried to write the “Gospel of Sarah Palin,” in which Sarah is the Messiah. I got nowhere, even though I came up with the gospel’s central message..

Then, this happened.

The Palinites are still rallying around her (or is that “Her”?). From comments on “The Immoral Minority” blog:
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“Palin's political career is "OVER". C4P [conservatives4palin.com] is having a prayer vigil, and reading form the bible. They're all wet from jumping into some river with a guy named moses. Desperation plus. We deserve an apoligy [sic] from these idiots.”

and

“’[T]echno’, one of the most hardcore supporters at C4P, just commented there: ‘Folks, just remember Sarah is prepared to go into the wilderness to save America from Obama's radical socialist agenda; the least we can do is to stand by her always and be prepared to fight to the death for her.’”

(Anonymous@7:44 PM and Patrick)
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In case you didn’t know, “wilderness” is a reference to the 40 days Jesus Christ spent in the desert, where He was tempted by Satan. And “Fight to the death”? What the ____ is Sarah planning, a revolution?

Anyway, I’ve been inspired by this outburst of Crusader zeal, so I have written this updated version of the Lord’s Prayer...call it “The Lady’s Prayer”:

Our Mother who art in Alaska,
Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy presidency come.
Thy will be done,
In Washington, as it is in Wasilla;
Give us this day our daily bread,
Not a handout, but via the forces of trickle-down economics;
And forgive us our sins,
As Thou ruthlessly destroy those who sin against us;
And deliver us straight into temptation,
With Thy tight dresses and fuck-me pumps;
For Thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory forever, you betcha!

- Matthew (R-Galilee) 6:9-13

I guess we’re at the “Temptation of Christ” phase for Sarah: She’s forgoing power in order to do Her duty as Messiah.

By this analogy, the crucifixion is the campaign in 2012; the resurrection is Her election. So will it’ll be a three-day recount? The will of God be done.

I just hope the will of God is to have her career implode.

Hello World!

“Who am I? What am I doing here?”

I'm not talking about existential philosophy (at least not now). These are practical questions.

I am a 20-year-old male from the North Bay region (Santa Rosa-Sonoma-Napa-Fairfield, CA). For no good reason, I'm not comfortable giving out my real name. My initials are "GJW", if you care.

I'm here for the simple reason that I need somewhere to "vent" and to give my ideas an audience (please let there be an audience). I write a lot, and have some stories/ideas that need a place to be "published" before my head explodes.I don't like to get halfway through a blog only to find that I'm reading someone I absolutely don't agree with, as I get annoyed easily, so I'll be straightforward with you: I'm a liberal blogger. I'm sure you must be shocked.

I’m a fan of Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, though I seem to be the only liberal who is willing to admit that MSNBC has a bit of a “bias”. So does everyone. You have to read/listen to/watch multiple sources to find the truth. That said, I can’t watch FOX long enough to get anything out of it. I’ve stopped trying. In any case, the Republicans have had FOX for 13 years, so the Dems should be allowed their own network, too.

I've been political my entire life. When I was 7, my mom took me to the Democratic HQ in town and I got a Bill Clinton button. I still have it. Later, my mom let me punch out the card for Clinton, and for other 1996 office-seekers I don't remember. I’m a progressive in regards to most everything.

I'm also very religious, a Christian who is fed up with churches that are fronts for the Republican Party. And I am fed up with churches doing the bidding of corporations and the wealthy. I believe that every religion has a view of the Truth, though I have faith that my religion has the best picture. I do not read the Bible literally.

I’m attending a local community college and will transfer to a CSU next spring. I am very interested in statistics and will likely become a stats major, with a minor in polisci or history. I have, if I may say so myself, extensive knowledge of American history, especially Presidents. My favorites are the ones between Jackson and Lincoln, though only because they’re usually passed over by historians. I believe Andrew Jackson was our least mentally stable president, though from a fictional standpoint I think he’d be a joy to write. Chet Arthur is probably my overall favorite.

I still live with my parents, though I’m not blogging from their basement. I’m in the attic, which is of course entirely different. There are five cats and two dogs in this house, though only one—a cat, Maggie—can be called “mine.” Of course, being a cat, she really owns me.

In this blog you'll find my thoughts on politics, religion, and other subjects, usually with a dose of humor (at least, I hope you all find it funny...). I don’t know how often I’ll post or what I’ll post, but I hope that I’ll be able to do it frequently.

In the meantime, enjoy the blog!

Verbose

(Can you see why I’ve given myself that name?)